sensual lips closeup

Do you feel connected to your sensuality even when it’s not sexual?  

What if your sensual pleasures were so fulfilling that sexual pleasure was just one of the many results that comes with being satisfied moment to moment?  

Sensuality and sexuality are often lumped into the same category, but actually, the two are very different qualities.  Sensual is not always sexual.

Sensuality is our ability to feel pleasurable sensation through all of our senses: touch, scent, taste, and sound. While being in tune with our sensations, often connects us to our primal sexual nature it’s equally important to note that it’s the gateway to experiencing to the pure bliss of our inner being.

In order to experience our sensuality, we need to be focused on the physical sensations that we’re experiencing, which means being present to our physical experience as we’re present to our emotional experience.  Otherwise we default to the mechanics of using our bodies as utilitarian machines.   It’s the difference between rubbing soap on our bodies to get clean, or to rub soap on our bodies to feel the soft supple decadence of silky soap gliding over one of the most sensitive organs of our body: the skin.

Sex without sensuality is very similar.   Have you ever felt like the buttons on your body were being pushed and prodded to get a desired response?  Aiming for the physiological result of getting you wet?  Meanwhile, the pleasure of each nuance of sensations is missed? 

Our bodies are like a GPS system. Our sensuality is similar to the wires that connect to our internal calibration system–our intuitive soul. On the other end, the wires are plugged into the battery pack–our sexual life-giving energy.

Our sensuality is therefore the bridge between our sexual satisfaction and our soul satisfaction.

The pleasure of running our fingers over our own skin, the texture of fur, or the taste of melted chocolate on our tongues sends endorphins and stimulates the pleasure center of our brain. It stimulates our physical ability to receive pleasure while it also stimulates our emotional ability to feel happy and blissful from ecstatic sensations.

The experience of sensuality is to feel and embrace pleasure, however that pleasure might feel, moment to moment, whether or not sexual turn on is part of the equation.

Sexuality, on the other hand, is our primal physiological ability to create life-giving energy. Sexual energy is not only useful for procreation and for pleasure, but it also connects us to feeling at home in our own skin. Having our sexual energy activated is our most naturally alive state in our human bodies.

Sexual is not always sensual.

A person can be tapped into their sex drive, but they may not be present with their sensuality at all.

Being connected to our sexual energy doesn’t always let us tap into the same emotional bliss that we feel when we’re tapped into our sensuality. Experiencing physical release through orgasm doesn’t necessarily mean there’s a connection to sensuality.

When the connection to sensuality is missing, the experience of pleasure is limited to a physical release, and bypasses the spiritual and emotional state of ecstasy.

When we understand this distinction, it’s easy to see the role that sensuality has in helping us to feel fulfilled in life, as well as to experience ecstatic, blissful sex.

How can we deepen our sensual experiences so we can feel more fulfilled not just by sex, but by life?

  1. Practice focusing your mind on the sensations you’re experiencing. 
    Notice each sensation without judgment. This will get you out of your head and into your body so your body can have the experience without judgment.
  2. Let yourself feel your emotions while you’re focused on those sensations.
    So many emotions are held inside of your pelvis, in your hips, in your ass, and inside your vagina. Allow your sensations to release your emotions. When you’re connected to your sensuality, you can consciously release the day-to-day stress that you hold. By releasing this emotional tension, your body opens up to receive more pleasure. It also frees you to be more authentically connected to your emotional truth, which helps you experience greater pleasure during sex because it creates a connection first, with yourself, so you can then express that emotional truth with touch or with words to your partner.
  3. Give yourself permission to receive more pleasure.
    We often limit ourselves to what we think our bodies are capable of, or what we’ve been able to experience in the past, which can lead our bodies to physically shut down. As you’re focusing on the sensations you’re experiencing, repeat this to yourself:
    I deserve to receive pleasure. This will take your mind off of what you’re feeling or not feeling, and how long it’s taking, or what your partner’s experience is. Focusing on receiving pleasure takes away the notion of having “to do” something.  Feeling deserving of pleasure without having to do anything for it, invites more relaxation into your body and can often free belief patterns that you may hold unconsciously around not being worthy. 

Do you feel connected to your sensuality even when it’s not sexual?

What if your sensual pleasure was so fulfilling that sexual pleasure was just one of the many results that comes with being satisfied moment to moment?

© Krista Kujat

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