I’ve just returned from the Permission Retreat in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico and the powerful and profound shifts from the group have settled in.
For context, the 5 days of the retreat were rooted in Permission Sessions – my signature somatic group workshops where each participant is guided toward the unique intuitive shifts that need to be expressed through movement, voice and breath to release any part of themselves that’s been hidden, denied or shamed.
The goal is to free any stubborn hang-ups in your body that may unconsciously be an obstacle for liberated joy, confidence and pleasure on any scale. My approach is to unearth these hidden pieces from the inside out, so you can free your psyche, body and heart from any internal conflict or struggle.
Photo by Josef Kandoll.
We laughed that the hashtag for the retreat should be #kristamademedoit… and it still makes me smile. I like to think whatever is inside of you, has been aching to get out all along, and sometimes all you need is a little extra permission. (more…)
Sometimes a quote can cut straight to our core and wake us up to profound realizations about ourselves. My favorites are the ones that let us relate to others with more ease, love and freedom. Today I’m sharing my favorite relationship quotes with you and hope they offer endless inspiration. Enjoy!
In your borrowed body, a precious gift is hidden.
Search for it not only when in pain
Learn to love before death claims you.
We need to be able to enter the body or the erotic space of another,
without the terror that we will be swallowed and lose ourselves.
– Esther Perel
Deprived of enigma, intimacy becomes cruel when it excludes any possibility of discovery. Where there is nothing left to hide, there is nothing left to seek.
-– Esther Perel, Mating in Captivity (more…)
“The only thing worse than being blind is having sight, but no vision” – Helen Keller
“I’ll take you around the world if you get back to that shape.” He pointed to a picture of me taken exactly 20 years ago. I was skin and bones; it was just a couple of months after I’d recovered from typhoid fever. For weeks, I couldn’t keep down anything I ate. It was closest to death I’d ever been in my life.
I know he intended this as a compliment for my youthful skinny self. And he didn’t know that I’d had typhoid fever a few weeks before that photo had been taken. But offering me a reward to return to my skin and bones state, felt sickening.
I understand that many of us have different ideas about what pleasure is, but for me, pleasure is the ability to feel love in each cell in my body.
When we feel pleasure in our bodies, we’re reminded on a visceral level that we’re worthy and deserving of love. On a primal level this can be a profound doorway through depression.
Pleasure has no conditions. Pleasure doesn’t tell us that we need to be single in order to feel free enough to accept it’s luxury. And pleasure doesn’t dictate that we need to be in a relationship in order to be deserving of it’s love. Pleasure doesn’t tell us we need to look or act a certain way to be worthy of it’s grace.
Pleasure doesn’t judge us, even though we may tend to judge pleasure itself.
Giving ourselves permission for pleasure is the catalyst that breaks down age old tutelage that we need to maintain the roles that have become expected of us, meanwhile hiding or forgetting our sensual and sexual selves for fear of being punished, shut-down, shamed, violated, devalued, disrespected or… sometimes the most heartbreaking of all: we’ll be seen as a beautiful sexy Thing, but not truly seen for who we are.
Ever thought about how your sensuality and sexuality are different?
Sensuality and sexuality are often lumped into the same category, but they are two very different qualities with unique capacities that contribute to our well-being in different ways.
Sensual is not always sexual. And sexual is not always sensual.
Sensuality is essentially our ability to feel pleasurable sensation through our senses of touch, scent, taste, sight and sound. Savoring decadent foods, feeling the texture of grass against bare feet, enjoying sensual caresses from a lover. These sensual experiences are pleasurable, but they may or may not be connected to an erotic or sexual turn on.
Sensuality is an incredibly healing force, because it’s the bridge that connects the quadrinity of our selves: mental, emotional, physical, and consciousness. While being in-tune with our sensuality can connect us to our primal sexuality, sensuality opens a powerful gateway to experiencing our raw emotions, access to which allows us to feel deeply connected to ourselves and to others. (more…)
It’s human to want safety in your relationship, but sometimes the compulsion to take care of your partner’s feelings in order to maintain a sense comfort with them might be killing your passion.
What many people don’t know is that there’s a pleasurable and empowering way to break free from this comfort zone.
If you become more daring with your erotic desires, you can actually break the pattern of over-giving emotionally. As a result, you can achieve both deeper satisfaction sexually, and greater trust in your relationship, because you’ll feel even more free to be yourself. (more…)